Have you ever experienced God’s grace but felt like you were still paying a price? Maybe you’ve been forgiven for something, but the consequences keep following you around. Your relationship with God is restored, but your reputation is shot. You’re saved, but you’re not quite free.

That’s exactly what the cities of refuge teach us about God’s mercy.

In Joshua 20, God sets up these amazing safe havens for people who accidentally killed someone. If you struck someone down without intent – maybe an ax head flew off and killed your neighbor – you could run to one of these cities and be protected from the victim’s family seeking revenge.

But here’s the thing that gets me: even after you made it to the city, even after the elders believed your story and let you in, even after you stood trial and were declared innocent of murderous intent, you still couldn’t go home.

You were safe. But you were also stuck.

You had to stay in that city until the high priest died. If you left – even to visit your mom on her birthday – the avenger of blood could kill you, and it would be completely legal. The city was simultaneously a refuge and a prison.

Grace Doesn’t Mean No Consequences

I think we need to sit with that tension because it reflects something true about how God works in our lives. God’s mercy doesn’t mean we just get to skip past the consequences of our actions. God’s grace doesn’t mean life goes back to normal like nothing ever happened.

Sometimes God’s mercy looks like protection while we’re still dealing with the fallout of what we’ve done. And that can be uncomfortable. That can feel unfair. You might be thinking, “But God, I didn’t mean to. It was an accident. I’ve confessed it. I’ve repented. Why am I still dealing with this?”

Because life is precious. Because our actions have weight. Because even unintentional harm requires an accounting.

The Beauty of Dependence

Here’s what I love about this though. That person in the city of refuge, they lost everything. Their house, their land, their job, their normal life. They had to start over in a new place with nothing.

And in that place of total dependence, they learned something about God they might never have learned otherwise. They learned to cling to God for protection. They learned to trust Him for provision. They learned what it meant to be truly dependent on the Lord.

Darby Strickland writes, “Weakness is an opportunity for us to humbly depend upon the Lord, which might be uncomfortable, but it is beautiful. When we are weak, it is God whose power is at work in us.”

Some of you are in that place right now. God has allowed you into a season of limitation, a time when you can’t just go back to normal, when you’re having to rebuild, when you’re learning to depend on Him in ways you never have before.

And I want you to hear this: He’s not punishing you. He’s not torturing you. He’s protecting you while teaching you something about Himself that you desperately need to learn.

Your True City of Refuge

The good news is that Jesus is our ultimate city of refuge. And when the High Priest , Jesus, died, something happened that those Old Testament cities could never fully accomplish. His death didn’t just protect us temporarily. It set us completely free.

Yes, we still deal with consequences in this life. Yes, there are still prices to pay for our actions. But eternally, we’re free. The avenger has no claim on us. We can go home.

And in the meantime, while we’re learning to depend on God in this life, we can rest in the knowledge that He’s not just protecting us – He’s perfecting us.

Questions for reflection:

• What consequences are you still dealing with even though you’ve been forgiven? How might God be using that season to teach you dependence on Him?
• Have you been viewing God’s current limitations in your life as punishment, or as protection and preparation?