In our Pinterest-perfect culture, hospitality often gets reduced to beautifully set tables, impressive menus, and Instagram-worthy place settings. We’ve come to equate being hospitable with being a good host, someone who serves delicious food in a welcoming environment. While there’s nothing inherently wrong with these expressions, biblical hospitality goes dramatically deeper than our modern understanding of the concept.

More Than a Meal

I recently preached a sermon and shared a story about visiting Paris and being welcomed into a tiny apartment by church members who didn’t know me or my family. What made this experience memorable wasn’t the food or the setting, it was how these strangers made room for us to participate in their lives.

This experience points to a profound truth: True biblical hospitality isn’t just inviting someone to a meal; it’s inviting them to participate in life with you.

The Jewish Passover Seder beautifully illustrates this principle. During this annual celebration, participants don’t merely observe, they engage. Children ask the Four Questions. Everyone tells parts of the Exodus story. Each person has a role to play. The meal isn’t something done for guests but something done with them.

From Observers to Participants

Think about the difference between these two scenarios:

1. You invite a neighbor to dinner, serve them an excellent meal, and send them home.
2. You invite a neighbor to help prepare a meal with you, share stories during dinner, and perhaps plan a future activity together.

The first scenario represents hospitality as service. The second represents hospitality as participation. Both have value, but the latter creates deeper connection and community.

Jesus modeled this participatory hospitality during the Last Supper. He didn’t just feed the disciples; He invited them into the story of redemption. “This is my body, given for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” He transformed them from guests into active participants in a new covenant.

Making Room for Questions

One aspect of the Passover Seder that particularly strikes me is how it makes room for questions. In fact, questions, especially from children and newcomers, are essential to the tradition. The entire ritual is designed to prompt curiosity: “Why is this night different from all other nights?”

How different this is from many of our religious gatherings where questions might be seen as disruptive or challenging to authority! Yet questions are how we learn, grow, and truly participate in community.

When we make room for questions in our hospitality, when we invite people not just to receive what we offer but to engage with it, we create space for authentic connection and growth.

Small Groups as Participatory Hospitality

This understanding of participatory hospitality has profound implications for how we approach church community, particularly small groups. Many church small groups follow an educational model: one knowledgeable person teaches while everyone else listens passively.

But what if we approached small groups with the Passover mentality? What if we believed that everyone brings something valuable to the table? What if we designed our gatherings to ensure that everyone participates rather than just a few serving while others consume?

This approach recognizes that discipleship happens best in communities where everyone contributes. The person who “just knows all the ways not to do the right thing” brings valuable perspective. The child who asks seemingly simple questions often prompts the most profound discussions.

Practical Steps Toward Participatory Hospitality

How can we move from transactional to participatory hospitality? Here are a few suggestions:

1. Ask for help. When inviting someone over, ask them to bring something or help with preparation. This immediately transforms them from guest to participant.
2. Create discussion, not presentation. Whether at dinner or in small groups, ask questions that invite everyone to contribute their thoughts and experiences.
3. Make room for questions. Explicitly invite curiosity and create an environment where no question is too simple or too challenging.
4. Share your real life. Hospitality isn’t about impressing people but including them. Let them see your authentic self, not just your “company best.”
5. Invite ongoing participation. True hospitality extends beyond a single event. Look for ways to continue the relationship and involvement.

The Table That Never Ends

Biblical hospitality points us toward the ultimate participation, the marriage supper of the Lamb described in Revelation, where people from every tribe and tongue will gather at God’s table. This heavenly feast isn’t something we merely attend; it’s something we participate in as members of God’s family.

Every time we practice participatory hospitality, we give others a glimpse of this coming reality. We create spaces where heaven touches earth, where the boundaries between host and guest blur, and where everyone finds their place at the table.

When we make room for others to participate in our lives, we don’t just feed their bodies, we nourish their souls with the belonging that every human heart craves.

What’s one way you could transform your hospitality from invitation to participation this week? Share your thoughts in the comments below.